Although I Choose to be Single...for now :)

“Loving someone is never a perfect journey.

However, love enables a person to see beauty despite the imperfections and short-comings. A heart that faces challenges but continues to love passionately is

far better than the one that never experienced it.”

“Love is perhaps the most powerful human experience. It overcomes overwhelming struggles, heals the deepest wounds, and quenches every soul's longing.” 

-darnel forro, 2011 

Busy?

Ang hirap pag hindi ka busy

Nakakamis yung tight schedule

Nakakamis yung adrenaline 

Nakakamis yung stress

Ironic nga lang

Pag masyadong busy

Gustong magpahinga

Pag nakatambay

Gustong maging busy

Ganun talaga siguro ang buhay

Naghahanap ng kung ano ang wala

Parang parating may kulang

Parang may dapat ma-iba

Gusto ko maging busy, again :) 

-Darnel Forro, 2011 

 

Seasons Include Wait Times

I finished all of my academic and practicum requirements last April 15th, more than a month ago. Since then I started applying for jobs. Unfortunately, my many attempts proved to be unsuccessful.

To note, I got one phone call and the HR coordinator scheduled me for an interview. I was really excited. I prepared my portfolio and the semi-formal attire that I had to wear for that day. I was eagerly happy. I told my parents and a few friends to pray for me. I browsed through the company's website to brief myself with some of the possible questions. I also reviewed some notes on how to market my skills better.

My supposed interview on that day was scheduled at 1:00 PM. I woke up as early as 8:00 in the morning, took a shower, and prepared for my "big day". I checked on my bus schedule to make sure that I'll get there on time. Aside from the rainy weather, everything seemed to be fine.

I arrived at the agency at 12:30 PM. I put on my best smile to give the receptionist a good first impression. I was feeling so excited for my turn. Unfortunately, my cellphone rang. It was the HR coordinator. She asked me if I have a schedule at 1:00 PM. I replied, "yes, actually I'm already here at the reception". At that time I knew something was wrong. She finally uttered the sad news. She told me that my interview was cancelled and I should wait for another phone call for a probable next schedule. No definite time was given and no explanation was said. I did not bother to ask.

The moment immediately felt dull and my already depleted self-esteem grew weaker. I wanted to cry but I knew I had to be strong, at least for the moment. I took the bus home feeling down hearted. My thoughts passed through mountains and oceans as I was strongly considering the idea of going home to the Philippines. It seemed that there's no future that awaits for me here. I felt so small, so powerless.

Upon arriving home, I immediately went straight to my room. I felt so tired, tired of waiting, tired of hoping. However, I realized that I trusted God through that process. Yes, it did not work well but it does not change the fact that God is still God. In down times or good times, He is still God and He is unchangeable; He can never be moved. After all I'm just a human being, a mere dust, a shadow that chases after the wind. 

All of my desires, longings, and ambitions are nothing and they, too shall pass. As the days go by and moments fade away, so will my temporal dreams. And an ancient proverb says, "success comes when you no longer crave for it for when you reach that point you don't chase after success anymore for it chases after you".

I know I'm getting there! 


-Darnel Forro, 2011

The Same

There are seasons of fun
And seasons of quietness
There are days of celebration
And days of tranquility

Looking back to the many moons
And reminiscing the countless sunsets
The seasons change
And the days vary

The heart yearns
And the soul searches
The years pass
And the mind becomes weary

Circumstances differ
And feelings grow
Doors open and they close
And challenges can be fiery

But God You remain the same
You alone are never moved
Though seasons change
And days pass by
In Your hymns my soul will sing
In awe I worship You

-Darnel Forro, 2011

For as Long as I Have Thee

Dear Lord,

When I count the thousand prayers that I said

It seems that life has been rough so far

Yet the sun still shines and the mornings come

As my struggles cease and my longings gone 

Day by day I always hope

That in peace and joy my life will be

As strivings end and dreams become free

My hope and trust will follow Thee 

Life is a never ending longing

It is dreaming that never stops

A blessing, a curse, a journey

In every phase, are You with me?

For in every single chapter

My thoughts never fail to wonder

Whether my highs or lows should matter

Or is it the fact that You're with me?

My heart may not be as pure as snow

And my mind may not be sharp

But through the course of every season

The breath of life gives me a reason

That wishes and dreams may come to pass

As longings cease and strivings stop

For at the end, do they really matter?

Or life is full for as long as I have Thee?

-Darnel Forro, 2011

Honesty: What a Lovely Word

To be consistently honest is a virtue. It does not only mean being genuine to others, it is being truthful to ourselves. God is all knowing and searches the heart, we cannot lie to Him. People around us are not dumb, they will find out the truth.
-Darnel Forro, 2011

Random Thoughts (Part 2)

In life we make decisions. Some of them are bold and radical, some are safe and cowardly. Neither is right or wrong for whatever choice it is, there is a corresponding consequence. Sometimes the consequences are more frightening than the choices and they hurt more. On the other hand, other people choose not to make a choice for themselves and they still suffer an outcome.

If this is the case, then where do we go? Should I make bold choices and expect a negative result at the end? Should I make safe ones and stay "unhappy"? Or perhaps, shall I let others decide for me and blame them when I realize it's too late and wish that I decided for myself? I made my choices and so others did. 

I guess at the end, we own our choices. Whether we made bold decisions or cowardly ones, or choosing not to make a choice and allowed others to do it for us, it doesn't matter. A choice was made. The only thing that we can do is to take responsibility and live with them. There are losses in those choices and there are gains as well. There were burnt bridges and new ones that were made. However, I'm more at peace and happy. 

The sun shines everyday and with the smiles on our faces, hope is always within reach. When I think about my own spiritual journey and reflect on my relationship with my Creator, I can still say that after all, I am still my Father's child and He sees my heart more than anyone does. And this relationship is something that I will always dearly treasure. 

For me, Christianity means that my heartbeat is visible from my Creator's eyes for He sees everything. And that special connection that I have with the One who gave me life is something that is eternal, unbreakable, and will remain to give me breath and inspiration every single day :)    

-Darnel Forro, 2011

Random Thoughts (Part 1)

At this point of my life, I guess I've done enough suppression, denial, and resistance against a part of myself that I knew to be existing since the birth of my consciousness. I have come to fully accept who I really am, realizing that there's nothing wrong to be me. I am still myself, a person who tries to be a better human being each day. And I'm not stepping on or disrespecting anyone just because I choose to be more truthful to myself and others. I know I have disappointed a number of people who sincerely care for me. As much as I want to please them, I would like them to know that I wish it was a choice. I tried to make myself believe that for a million times but it did not work. At this time, I just want to be at peace knowing that I remained genuine. It's good to be true at 23 and I won't wait until I turn 40 before I wake up to the fact that I, too deserve to smile and be happy :) 
-Darnel Forro, 2011